Pretending is efficient, uncomplicated and quick. Answering cheaply to the question, ‘how are you doing?’ is much easier than saying, ˜not very well thank-you; my back is bothering me, this is disappointing me, I’m unhappy with yonder and that person never speaks to me…. and whats more, I’m wondering where Jesus is in all of this.” This isn’t a ranting matter, but genuinely I wonder do you experience this…..? How do you do on this…..?
Here’s some helpful words from the late Mike Yaconelli;-
“There is no room for pretending in the spiritual life. Unfortunately, in many church circles, there exists an unwritten rule. Pretend. Act like God is in control when you don’t believe He is. Give the impression everything is okay in your life when it isn’t. Pretend you believe when you doubt; hide your imperfections; maintain the image of a perfect marriage when your family is like any other dysfunctional family. And whatever you do, don’t admit that you sin.”
Pretending is the oxygen of today’s relationships. Pretending perpetuates the illusion of relationships by connecting us on the basis of who we aren’t. People who pretend have pretend relationships. But ‘being real’ is a synonym for ‘messy spirituality’, because when we are real, our messiness is out-there for everyone to see. This is real, refreshing and authentic but ultimately uncomfortable!
Whichever way you and I choose to play it: the truth is, we are a mess. None of us is who we appear to be. We all have secrets. We all have issues, wobbles, worries and fears. We all struggle from time to time. No-one is perfect. Not one. The essence of messy spirituality is the refusal to pretend, to lie, or to allow others to believe we are something we are not. Unfortunately, people can handle the most difficult issues more than they can handle the lack of pretending.
When you and I stop pretending, we expose the pretending of everyone else. It’s dangerous, courageous and always best! The bubble of the perfect Christian life is burst, and we all must face the reality of our brokenness. Brokenness is what God longs to mend, weakness is what He makes strong and truth is what He makes glorious!
The call is to honesty and depth as individuals.
The call is to authenticity and life beyond pretence!
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